Golden Delicious
by EmeraldGrey123
Summary: Oneshot written for Valentine's Day. Draco wouldn't be making out with an apple right now (however unknowingly) if he didn't have a huge crush on Harry. But Harry wouldn't be jealous of said apple if he didn't have an equally huge crush on Draco. If only Harry knew who the apple really was. Warnings: AU, Slash, OOC, Crackfic. Pairings: Drapple and Drarry


Draco stirred the potion in front of him, closed his eyes and inhaled the strong scent of Ashwinder eggs and success. He was almost done working on his final Potions project - an ambitious attempt to create his very own Love Potion. Now, this was no ordinary Love Potion. It was actually designed to work specifically on one individual, namely one Harry James Potter. Draco had been obsessed with the Boy Who Lived ever since he could remember, especially his leaf-green eyes and golden skin, and had been searching long and hard for a unique ingredient to complete his potion that would resemble Harry in every way. Now, he had found it! A Golden Delicious apple. Even the name of it gave him shivers of anticipation!

He had thought it was only fitting that he make the potion under the very tree he would pick this apple from. Unfortunately, Draco had made two mistakes in thinking this, due to his daydreams of biting into Harry's neck like an apple while he was making the potion that morning. One, it was not actually the right time for the final ingredient. He had conveniently forgotten to add one slimy yet very crucial ingredient, Flobberworm mucus. Two, he forgot that being outside was a big no-no in Potion-making. As he randomly let out an evil sounding cackle for no apparent reason, he failed to notice a rotten apple drop from the branch above him into the Potion. And without warning, it exploded.

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><p>Harry threw another large boulder at a Hufflepuff couple walking past, smiling maniacally as they screamed and ran away. He hated Valentine's Day so much that he had stomped outside very loudly, slamming doors for no reason along the way, to take out his frustrations on innocent passers-by. Why, you ask? Well, Harry was annoyed because he couldn't have the one person he really wanted to snog- um, be with - today. Draco Malfoy would never look at him twice. Except maybe to punch him. It wasn't fair that he had to fall in love with his school rival! In fact, it should be illegal for someone so annoying to be that attractive. Just as Harry had the brilliant idea of sending Draco to Azkaban for being too good looking, he caught sight of a golden flash under a tree on the opposite side of the lake. So he got up and trotted over to see what was going on because he was curious.<p>

However, the sight under the tree caused him to gasp in shock. Sprawled on the floor and covered in bright green potion, lay the Slytherin Prince himself. Clearly there had been an accident of some sort. Harry felt tears come to his eyes. He didn't want Draco to die! So he decided to Levitate Draco to the Hospital Wing. Madam Pomfrey would know what to do.

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><p>"I don't know what to do, Mr Potter."<p>

Harry jumped up in shock from where he was sitting next to Draco's bedside. "NO! I refuse to accept that! There must be something else you can do!"

"I'm sorry, Mr Potter. I have cleaned the Potion off his skin and asked Professor Snape to come to test it. Until I know what that Potion was, I won't know his full condition so I can't wake him up. You will just have to wait." She swept away into her side office, sniffing about people 'disturbing the peace'.

Harry began to sob loudly over Draco's still form. As a result, he missed Snape entering the room.

"Potter! Cease that snivelling this instant!"

Harry didn't hear him.

"POTTER!" Harry looked up again. "I have come to test the Potion. I need silence, so shut up," he sneered.

Harry really did try to stay quiet. However, he could not repress a sneeze that exploded out of his nose just as Snape cast the first spell. It is not known exactly what happened next since Harry had his eyes closed, but when he opened them again there was no one there. However, there was a rather poisonous looking apple sitting in a pile of black robes next to a wand. Harry did not think this was suspicious in any way, and he picked up said apple, placed it on Draco's bedside table, and immediately began crying loudly again, promptly forgetting about Snape's existence.

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><p>It was almost dark outside when Draco finally stirred. Harry's face lit up in delight and he clutched at Draco's hand, counting the seconds until the boy he was madly in love with opened his eyes. However, Draco was not facing Harry. So when he did wake, it was to the sight of a shiny red apple. And the Potion's effects of course had not worn off. This resulted in the rather funny effect (for us, not for Harry) of Draco falling violently in lust with said apple immediately. Harry, needless to say, was horrified to see the make-out session that then took place, and promptly Vanished Apple Snape to the bottom of the Lake. The Giant Squid was very pleased to have a new playmate.<p>

However, this made Draco very sad. He yelled "APPLES!" and ran out of the Hospital Wing waving his arms about like windmills as love hearts came popping out of his ears. Harry saw green. No apple was going to take his Drakie-poo away from him! He rushed to Gryffindor Tower immediately. He would need his Marauder's Map first, then he could commence Mission 'Get Draco'. No, Harry wasn't feeling particularly creative at that point. But you can't really blame him.

Five minutes later, Harry was stalking Draco down the corridors with the map, climbing over non-existent lasers and keeping his back to the wall. Even though it was the middle of the night, and Draco was singing a tribute to apples at the top of his voice, it never hurt to be careful! Harry had thought of an ingenious plan to seduce the platinum-haired boy involving liberal use of pick up lines, except this required Draco to not be influenced by a potion, so he had to scrap it, and didn't really know what he was doing. He saw Draco coming up to a turning in the corridor, and quickly waved his wand in that general direction without a particular spell in mind. And look what appeared! A huge red apple! Draco got a glazed look in his eye began to drool. Harry scowled, that wasn't what he wanted to happen. Draco should be drooling over him, not a stupid red fruit. Suddenly though, an idea came to him. Maybe he could use the apples to lure Draco to the Room of Requirement? He Vanished the giant apple and made it reappear further up the corridor, and grinned in delight when Draco promptly followed it. This would be fun.

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><p>Draco was having the time of his life chasing the giant apple around the corridor. It really was playing hard to get! But it would be worth it in the end, when he finally got his hands on that juicy red fruit and he could do whatever he wanted to it. But suddenly he came face to face with a door. Surely that hadn't been there before? He scowled at the thought that it might be hiding his precious apple from him and turned the handle and walked in. His jaw dropped in surprise. There stood his apple! And it had arms and legs... and a face! And you know what that meant? It had lips! Draco didn't waste a second, but promptly kissed the apple. After all, it might run away again.<p>

As his lips were pressed to the apple's, a fog began to clear from his mind. He remembered why kissing apples was strange, and took a step back quickly. He was met by a pair of twinkly green eyes... "Potter?"

"Malfoy." Harry said quietly. He wasn't sure how Draco would react to him, so he kept quiet while he waited for a reply. He didn't expect the one he got though!

"Harry! I luuuuuuurrve you!" Draco yelled, and Harry found himself pinned against the wall. The tiny part of his brain that hadn't already turned to mush didn't mind this very much though.

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><p>Draco and Harry lived happily ever after, apart from the very minor problem of Harry never wanting to see an apple ever again. Draco didn't really care one way or another though. After all, Harry could be his Golden Delicious any day... *wink wink*<p> 


End file.
